Every year Reddit.com does a record breaking Secret Santa gift exchange. Last year in 2012, over 44,000 people across 130 countries came together to break the world record for the largest Secret Santa ever. What’s awesome is that this year they managed to TRIPLE those numbers.
This year redditor crespokid got sickgnasty in the exchange, and decided to have some real fun with the whole thing. When sickgnasty opened up the package and read the card he realized he had something special and so decided to document the whole process with his camera. What was in the box might go down as the most epic secret santa exchange to date.
What’s this!? A mysterious large package has arrived at my office?Here’s the mail, it never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail – Maaaaaaaiiil! Looks like it’s time for a lunch break to bust this bad boy open.
I was greeted by a pair of lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. Well, they were a dolls eye, but that’s beside the point right now.
There was something hiding from the shark. A letter. A handwritten letter. How personal and old fashioned. Let’s look inside.
A grumpy santa paws. That shark looks hungry in the background.
A cryptic, but yet heartfelt and moving letter was written inside with a clue to my upcoming horror. I read this in jigsaw’s voice to prepare myself.
My tummy hurts. No phone ringing was coming from inside, so I decided that it was time to operate. I wanted to make sure the patient was as comfortable as possible.
Shhhhhhhhh. Sleep little shark. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep.
The first cut is the deepest. We had some hemeraging, but I stopped the bleeding pretty fast.
A little hand reached out and grabbed on to me. This shark was prego! THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOOOOO!!!!!
Had to do a C-section and remove the cute baby Alligator.
The shark died in the process. It was beautiful from death to new life.
But wait, what’s this!? More stitches. We have to go deeper.
Stab Stab Stabby Stab.
TEMPLETON!!!!!!!!!!! What are you doing inside a baby Alligator that was inside of a shark!?
Again. Death to life. Yada Yada Yada. My feels were moving. It was beautiful.
WHAT!? Still more stitches. This isn’t even it’s final form. Welp. Stabby Stab Stab time.
Ok. Now why is there a mouse inside of a rat inside of an alligator inside of a shark!? I don’t care because I think I’ve reached the end of my murder journey.
The little mouse was holding on to a Pen & Ink sketch pen! It’s perfect! As a Graphic Designer, I’ll use this all the time. Thanks so much Crespokid!
And with that. I’m left with an awesome pen and a pile of dead animal carcasses. Happy holidays everyone.
That was like the Turduckin of secret Santa gifts. Well, a Shalligatouse if you will…
Oh and don’t worry about those cut up toys going to waste. sickgnasty says he’s going to get all of those stuffed animals sewn back up and onto his nephew’s bed for Christmas. Even better.
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